Bathroom floor as dirty as me
some cats are different.
omfg so I came back from camp today and I guess this fell out of my bag while I was unpacking
aND MY DAD STARTS SCREAMING ABOUT THIS CONDOM HE FOUND IN MY ROOM AND I GOT SO SCARED OMFG AND I WAS LIKE WAIT LEMME SEE THAT AND I TURNED IT OVER
AND IT’S MY FUCKING TEA
MY DAD THOUGHT MY CINNAMON APPLE TEA WAS A CONDOM
ho ho ho
shit down my throat
this one time in art class we were painting and my teacher was like
"hannah take off your jacket id hate for you to get paint on your led zeppelin sweater"
and i was just like
once i dated a guy who stopped talking to me for a month and i found out he didn’t like me anymore but he was too scared to dump me so he just ignored me and i spammed his facebook with wiki links on how to break-up with your girlfriend
smack that ass from 8 feet away
wisest words I’ve heard all week
*my mom calls ur mom* hi i just called to tell you that your son didnt reblog my sons selfie? um no lorraine. you listen here, if you want to come to my tupperware party you better get your son in check. also your blueberry cobbler should not have won the state fair competition. goodbye lorraine.
oh my god if you type a word into wiki answers they put related questions over pictures of thoughtful people i am dying